Her Eyes
by callalily32
Summary: Why /does/ Harry look exactly like James? It only took one night. An evening, actually, and a short one at that. A moment between Severus Snape and Lily Potter has lasting consequences.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and am making no profit from this story.

Summary: Why _does_ Harry look exactly like James? It only took one night. An evening, actually, and a short one at that. A moment between Severus Snape and Lily Potter has lasting consequences.

oooooo

"Severus?"

The wizard froze for a moment, stiffening before turning.

"Lily," he acknowledged with a tight nod. The redhead stood before him, shifting her weight back and forth on her feet.

"Hello," she said tentatively. Her mouth opened and closed, grasping for something else to say. "I didn't . . . I didn't expect to find you here."

"Or anywhere, I'd imagine."

Her eyes lowered at his biting retort. He took the moment to observe her more closely. He'd seen her before she approached him - of course he had, he'd been watching her walk through the street for the last ten minutes - but observation from afar was nothing compared to her form two feet in front of him. She was still beautiful. Still the same Lily he'd loved since before he could remember.

"Please, Severus," she begged, her eyes meeting his. "I'm trying."

"Why?" he asked. Love couldn't hide his antipathy toward her, couldn't erase the years of scorn he'd endured from her. "What do you want?" he demanded, suspicious of her kindness.

"To say hello," she said, searching his eyes and hurt by his harsh tone.

"You haven't wanted to 'say hello' for years. Don't make a mockery of me, Lily." He began to turn away. "Goodbye."

"Severus," she pleaded, reaching out to grasp his rough hand in her cool, smooth one. "Please. Let's talk like the friends we once were."

"Why?" he repeated.

"We were always such good friends. I'm ashamed of isolating you, of abandoning you - I'll admit it. I'm sorry, Severus. I was young and foolish." She paused and bit her lip. "I'm sorry. Please talk with me."

Severus sighed. He desperately wanted to believe her. Lily had been his only stability growing up, and to have her friendship back . . . "A few minutes," he granted.

She gave him a striking smile, and pulled him to walk with her through the quiet streets like there had never been an argument all those years ago. He wondered if this was what it would have been like if he had never destroyed their friendship that one, horrid afternoon, or if she had forgiven him after his desperate attempts back then to remedy the situation. . . . or even, if Potter had not been in the picture at all, maybe he and Lily could have been together like this . . . always.

Lily's voice entranced him. It delighted him to hear it again. It didn't matter that she was speaking of the few "safe" things they had to talk of now - the weather, the Quiddich World Cup, the emptiness of the alley - just hearing her voice aimed at him, not in scorn or in anger or neutrality, but if nothing else, at least in optimism, if not happiness.

"The older I get, the more I value my friends. I truly am sorry," she repeated, tightening her hand where it was linked into his arm.

He nodded in acknowledgement. It seemed she was sincere, and as cautious as he was, this was one thing he would welcome blindly. The two continued their walk, now edging along the outskirts of town, sometimes speaking, sometimes silent; two friends becoming reacquainted with each other.

Afternoon grew into evening and evening grew into dusk.

Before he knew it they were deep in the forest, clothes askew and quickly removed like two irresponsible teenagers.

oooooo

The owl flew through his window, dropped the note like it knew of its unscrupulous contents, and quickly turned to fly away with the night breeze.

He opened the small note, recognizing the style of the letters forming his name on the front. Glancing at its contents, his eyes widened and his hands spasmed, dropping the parchment onto his desk.

_I'm pregnant._

Severus rubbed his hands over his face and read the brief letter again. The two damning words were still there. No signature, no initials, but he knew who it was from. It could be no one else.

He tossed the note into his fireplace where the edges quickly caught fire and within seconds all that was left of her message were curled black ashes.

Grabbing a clean glass and pulling his firewisky out, Severus settled down for a long, mind-muddling night.

oooooo

Clandestine notes were sent. Times were arranged. A meeting place was set.

Severus arrived at the clearing first and leaned against a tree, awaiting her arrival. A quick _pop_ of apparation, and she appeared.

The silence thickened, filling the space between them as they stared at each other, neither one wishing to speak first. Whatever camaraderie had been developed in their last meeting blew away like the morning breeze in that instant in angry, accusing glares at each other.

"Are you sure the child is mine?" the words were out of his mouth before he could consider them.

Her eyes could have burned him. "I don't want to beat around the bush either, but is _that_ really the first thing you want to say?" she fumed. "Of course I'm sure!"

Severus stood his ground. "How -"

"I just am!" Her eyes blazed at him to contradict her.

He returned her glare in full until she looked away.

_"You _contacted _me,_ Lily. What do you want?" he spit out.

Lily's eyes blinked furiously, and Severus hoped she wasn't about to start crying. He didn't care if she had pregnancy hormones or she was upset - he was not going to deal with a weeping woman, especially one who couldn't decide whether she cared for him or detested him.

"Fine. I'm sorry," she said, her voice quieting. "I just- I know-" she took a breath to start again. "I wasn't . . . with . . . James at the right time for it to be . . ." she cut herself off, shaking her head. "Why did this happen?" she lamented. "It was a mistake," she turned a stern look on Severus, somewhat diminished by her eyes gleaming with tears. "I love my husband."

He sneered at her. She didn't have to remind him. He was well aware.

"Does he know that you're . . ."

"Pregnant?" she filled in. "Yes, of course. I can't keep things from him-" Lily cut herself off and Severus let the moment lengthen.

_Liar. There are apparently _some_ things you can keep from him, and you know it._

"How far along are you?"

"A month. I caught it early . . ." she trailed off.

Severus glared daggers at a nearby bush for what he was about to say. And do. "Come back in four weeks."

"What?"

"Four weeks," he repeated, "and bring a strand of Potter's hair."

oooooo

The potion simmered for a moment when the hair was dropped in, then calmed.

"Drink this."

Tentatively, Lily reached out her hand. "What is it?" she asked, examining the vial. They were in the same clearing as before, both in heavy cloaks to fight off the morning chill.

"A form of polyjuice."

She frowned. "Is it illegal?"

"Do you want to know the answer to that?" he glared.

Lily bit her lip. "What will it do?"

"It will permanently change the fetus's appearance to match the hair. It only works if consumed in the first trimester of pregnancy."

"So . . . it will look like James?" she asked, hopeful.

Severus held back a scowl at her smile. "Yes," he said instead, "except for the eyes." Lily's brows drew together and she cast a questioning glance at him. " 'Eyes are the windows to the soul.' " he quoted. "Eaker was a wizard; he knew what he was talking about. The eyes cannot be changed. Let's hope they don't look like mine."

Lily closed her eyes and tipped the vial's contents down her throat.

oooooo

_Eighteen years later . . . _

Severus lay bleeding on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, the edges of his vision clouding and darkening, and all he saw were Lily's eyes staring into his.

Harry capped the bottle full of memories and kelt next to his professor, frantically watching him struggle to speak as blood loss and venom slowly drained away his life.

Severus looked at his son, his son who would shortly be leaving to face his death at Voldemort's wand. He could feel his strength fading. He was having trouble taking his next breath, let alone speaking. But he had to say it, just once, before he died.

Severus took a deep, painful breath and wheezed out the thought that ran through his mind every time he looked at Harry.

"You have your mother's eyes."

oooooo

A/N: The quote "Eyes are the windows to the soul" is attributed to many people, so I chose to use Vern Eaker, who wrote a poem by this title.


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